I love reading advice columns. I’m not sure what this says about me, but hey, there’s a lot of emotionally grey goo bottled up inside me and one of the ways I deal with it is by reading these kinds of columns.
My very favorite advice columnist is Dear CokeTalk. As you can gleam from the title of her blog, it’s not exactly words of wisdom from a puritan. But that’s exactly the point. Start here for some of her good stuff (but who am I kidding? It’s all good).
I’ve never asked her for advice although I’ve often thought about it.
But the thing is I’m pretty clever. And I know that the answer to whatever question I ask lies in the question itself.
And I guess I haven’t been able to find the right question yet.
The answer is 42. But what is the question?
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Saturday, December 17, 2011
A Letter to Myself
It’s okay you know.
It’s okay to feel like crap sometimes. It’s okay to be stressed and sad. It’s okay that you don’t have everything figured out.
You haven’t done the dishes in a week? - It’s okay.
You get annoyed with you boyfriend over the slightest things? - Really. It’s okay. Just breathe.
You haven’t bought any Christmas-presents yet? - Still okay.
You’re afraid you’ll fail your exams? - So what if you do? It’ll be okay.
You feel like crying for no particular reason? - It’s okay. Go ahead. I understand.
You feel like a failure? - I promise you’re not.
You are wonderful.
I like you. I like you a lot.
Monday, October 31, 2011
October
NaNoWriMo starts tomorrow and I'm super bummed that I won't be able to participate this year.
For the uninitiated: NaNoWriMo is National Novel Writing Month and is a challenge to write a 50.000 word novel in 30 days.
I first did NaNoWriMo in 2009. I finished the manuscript by 11.30 pm by killing my main character. By the end of the 30 days and 50.000 words I was sick of my character and I decided she might as well just die. So she did and I haven't looked at that mess of a story since.
But I wrote it. I finished it. And it taught me a great deal about writing. Most importantly that I was capable of writing a story (a bad one – but a story none the less).
In 2010 I managed to write the 50.000 words without killing my main character.
Progress.
Every time I've done NaNoWriMo I've completed the challenge and felt like a better person because of it.
I won't be able to get that feeling this November. I won’t get that sense of accomplishment.
Instead I’ll be trudging along juggling work-projects, school-projects and this thing called a personal life that I also have (I know – a luxury).
Anyway. Since I won’t be able to do NaNoWriMo, you guys totally should. And then come tell me how absolutely horrible it is to go through (because trust me – writing 50.000 words in a month is no walk in the part). And I’ll be jealous and compassionate at the same time.
For the uninitiated: NaNoWriMo is National Novel Writing Month and is a challenge to write a 50.000 word novel in 30 days.
I first did NaNoWriMo in 2009. I finished the manuscript by 11.30 pm by killing my main character. By the end of the 30 days and 50.000 words I was sick of my character and I decided she might as well just die. So she did and I haven't looked at that mess of a story since.
But I wrote it. I finished it. And it taught me a great deal about writing. Most importantly that I was capable of writing a story (a bad one – but a story none the less).
In 2010 I managed to write the 50.000 words without killing my main character.
Progress.
Every time I've done NaNoWriMo I've completed the challenge and felt like a better person because of it.
I won't be able to get that feeling this November. I won’t get that sense of accomplishment.
Instead I’ll be trudging along juggling work-projects, school-projects and this thing called a personal life that I also have (I know – a luxury).
Anyway. Since I won’t be able to do NaNoWriMo, you guys totally should. And then come tell me how absolutely horrible it is to go through (because trust me – writing 50.000 words in a month is no walk in the part). And I’ll be jealous and compassionate at the same time.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Hats and eyeliner
I had this whole post written
about a totally legit and serious topic but I don’t feel
like preaching some higher truth to you right now.
I want to
tell you about how eyeliner and a hat can make every good-looking guy even hotter.
Oh, you want evidence you say?
Cam Gigandet
Jared Leto
I know there's no hat, but it's Kurt Cobain and I couldn't help myself
You're welcome.
Friday, September 23, 2011
Doors.
Whether they’re open or closed, there is always something intriguing about them. Especially the ones that you aren’t supposed to open. The dangerous ones.
Your eye catches one of these forbidden doors. You find it oddly fascinating.
You take a step forward. Then another. You can’t take your eyes of the door as you slowly get closer
You begin to anticipate the moment where you will open it and see what it hides. You can feel the air of excitement that seems to arise as you get closer.
You feel a soft wind blowing in your hair as you stand before the forbidden door. Endless possibilities lie behind that door.
The wind tussle your hair and make your thoughts dance.
You turn the knob and push the door open, but the door is caught by the wind. It is torn out of your hands.
The door swings towards you and slams into you with incredible force.
You fall backwards.
As you lie on your back, catching your breath you see blue sky above you and will yourself to get up again.
The first thing you notice is that the door is no longer there.
That’s okay.
The sky is blue and there’s a soft wind blowing.
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Do you want to play a game?
You already are...
I love playing Cluedo, cards, Munchin, etc. I like these games because they have a clearly defined start and end, and when it’s over and somebody is declared a winner, you can start all over again, clean slate, and see who wins the next round.
But these are just one type of games. There are others.
There are those mind games you play with others, when you want to manipulate them. I don’t like those.
Then there are the games you play romantically. Boy, they are exhausting. And have a lot of rules.
And then there is the actual Game of Life.
This game also have a lot of rules. Some of them are written down as laws, others as guidelines, but most exist solely as tacit knowledge, as a sort of Code of Conduct in whatever society you live in.
This Code of Conduct has many, many facets and it is constantly changing.Nobody knows exactly what it contains.
I don’t particularly like this Game of Life. Games are by nature often won by chance - by getting that ace or rolling that six.
In the Game of Life, you’re playing a game, where you don’t know the rules because they keep on changing, and where your level of success is largely decided by chance.
I don’t want my life to be decided by chance and ruled by uncertainty. Because if you don’t know the rules, how do you decide who wins? You can’t. Which means that in a way no one wins. We all lose.*
If it’s all a game of chance, and we all eventually lose, what’s the point of it all? Why even bother following the rules?
Because we humans are made of awesome and dipped in hope. We believe against all odds, that we will the ones to succeed. That happiness does lie before us.
It’s this undying optimism that I find inspiring.
Also, it’s an unspoken rule that all rules that aren’t written, are allowed to be broken. So go ahead and break a few of those unspoken rules.
Also, don't focus on winning the game. Focus on playing the right game.
* I’ve written about that before.
I love playing Cluedo, cards, Munchin, etc. I like these games because they have a clearly defined start and end, and when it’s over and somebody is declared a winner, you can start all over again, clean slate, and see who wins the next round.
But these are just one type of games. There are others.
There are those mind games you play with others, when you want to manipulate them. I don’t like those.
Then there are the games you play romantically. Boy, they are exhausting. And have a lot of rules.
And then there is the actual Game of Life.
This game also have a lot of rules. Some of them are written down as laws, others as guidelines, but most exist solely as tacit knowledge, as a sort of Code of Conduct in whatever society you live in.
This Code of Conduct has many, many facets and it is constantly changing.Nobody knows exactly what it contains.
I don’t particularly like this Game of Life. Games are by nature often won by chance - by getting that ace or rolling that six.
In the Game of Life, you’re playing a game, where you don’t know the rules because they keep on changing, and where your level of success is largely decided by chance.
I don’t want my life to be decided by chance and ruled by uncertainty. Because if you don’t know the rules, how do you decide who wins? You can’t. Which means that in a way no one wins. We all lose.*
If it’s all a game of chance, and we all eventually lose, what’s the point of it all? Why even bother following the rules?
Because we humans are made of awesome and dipped in hope. We believe against all odds, that we will the ones to succeed. That happiness does lie before us.
It’s this undying optimism that I find inspiring.
Also, it’s an unspoken rule that all rules that aren’t written, are allowed to be broken. So go ahead and break a few of those unspoken rules.
Also, don't focus on winning the game. Focus on playing the right game.
* I’ve written about that before.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Take action
“Excellence is an art won by training and habituation. We do not act rightly because we have virtue or excellence, but we rather have those because we have acted rightly. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit." - Aristoteles
We are what we repeatably do.
It's both a comforting and a scary thought.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
What? Were you expecting something clever here?
I have no inspiring thoughts for you today. I could blame it on too much work and too much homework, but truth is … yeah. I don’t know. My brain = mush.
I tried to write a blogpost with actual content. I really did. It was about what defines an adult and where the lines between adult/young adult/teenager/child are drawn. In my head it sounded amusing and curiously funny, but when it got down on paper the words ... They sucked.
So. No more words from me today. Instead I’ll give you a song I’ve been listening to alot lately.
Our hopes and expectations? They're black holes and revelations. Pretty, pretty black holes.
I tried to write a blogpost with actual content. I really did. It was about what defines an adult and where the lines between adult/young adult/teenager/child are drawn. In my head it sounded amusing and curiously funny, but when it got down on paper the words ... They sucked.
So. No more words from me today. Instead I’ll give you a song I’ve been listening to alot lately.
Our hopes and expectations? They're black holes and revelations. Pretty, pretty black holes.
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Invisible emotional damage
I saw the movie Friends with Benefits last night, the one with Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis. The set-up was that he was emotional unavailable and she was emotionally damaged. Instead of trying to have a relationship, they would just be friends with benefits.
All in all I liked it.
But. I don’t quite see what emotional damage Mila Kunis’ character had.
The only reason I know she supposedly has this emotional damage, is because I was told so by herself and almost every other character in the movie. I didn’t see any actual damage. This evidently invisible emotional damage didn’t affect her life or the choices she made in any capacity, at least as far as I could discern. The way she was portrayed in the movie, she seemed like a perfectly normal late 20-something woman.
Apart from developing feelings for the guy she was supposed to only have a sexual relationship with, and then being terrible at being honest with him, she acted like a responsible adult.
What annoys me is that it really wouldn’t have been that difficult to show that she had some issues or emotional scars.*
It’s not that Kunis’ character is perfect. She has flaws like any other person. But she isn’t emotionally damaged (unless it’s a sign of emotional damage to believe in true love and that there is a right guy for you out there - which apparently is the case in this movie).
I mean, if she’s emotionally damaged, then I belong in the freaking mental institution (and maybe I do, but shhh, don’t tell anyone).
This movie was a nice reminder of the age-old adage: Show, don’t tell.
*If you want to see a female character with emotional damage in a romantic comedy, check out Cameron Diaz in The Holiday (a great movie, by the way).
The movie was entertaining enough, sprinkled with good jokes. It was a bit predictable, but you know, it’s a romantic comedy. It kind of has to be predictable.
All in all I liked it.
But. I don’t quite see what emotional damage Mila Kunis’ character had.
The only reason I know she supposedly has this emotional damage, is because I was told so by herself and almost every other character in the movie. I didn’t see any actual damage. This evidently invisible emotional damage didn’t affect her life or the choices she made in any capacity, at least as far as I could discern. The way she was portrayed in the movie, she seemed like a perfectly normal late 20-something woman.
Apart from developing feelings for the guy she was supposed to only have a sexual relationship with, and then being terrible at being honest with him, she acted like a responsible adult.
What annoys me is that it really wouldn’t have been that difficult to show that she had some issues or emotional scars.*
It’s not that Kunis’ character is perfect. She has flaws like any other person. But she isn’t emotionally damaged (unless it’s a sign of emotional damage to believe in true love and that there is a right guy for you out there - which apparently is the case in this movie).
I mean, if she’s emotionally damaged, then I belong in the freaking mental institution (and maybe I do, but shhh, don’t tell anyone).
This movie was a nice reminder of the age-old adage: Show, don’t tell.
*If you want to see a female character with emotional damage in a romantic comedy, check out Cameron Diaz in The Holiday (a great movie, by the way).
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Good is better than perfect*
So. Evidently I survived my first day of school. Yes, there where awkward silences. My main line of defense against those where to ignore them and hope that they would go away on their own.
They did.
I’m still a bit blown away by all the new impressions and people. It’s amazing how many times I’ve told different people today who I am and where I’m from and what I’ve been doing with my life so far and what I see myself doing in 5 years.
It’s been exhausting. But one of them looked at me in awe and said she was impressed by how I knew what I wanted and where I am going.
From someone looking at my life right now, it’s almost scary how much zen everything seems to be. I’ve got the perfect job. I got into the perfect study-program. My life is heading in the perfect direction.
But you know what?
Nothing is perfect.
If somebody looks at my life and see perfection, they’re not seeing the whole story.
Truth is I’ve spent all of my life being unsure of myself and unfocused and confused. I’ve realized I can’t keep going like that. I’ve got to start to head in one direction. I’m done standing still. I’m going to do something – anything, and then hope that it’s the right thing.
* The title of this blogpost, is from the song The Man of a Thousand Faces by Regina Spektor.
They did.
Lest this blog becomes too self-centered I’ve include some pictures of the adorable Chris Gorham. Instead of reading about my thoughts and fears you can just look at the pretty pictures. Don’t say I never do anything for you.
I’m still a bit blown away by all the new impressions and people. It’s amazing how many times I’ve told different people today who I am and where I’m from and what I’ve been doing with my life so far and what I see myself doing in 5 years.
It’s been exhausting. But one of them looked at me in awe and said she was impressed by how I knew what I wanted and where I am going.
From someone looking at my life right now, it’s almost scary how much zen everything seems to be. I’ve got the perfect job. I got into the perfect study-program. My life is heading in the perfect direction.
But you know what?
Nothing is perfect.
Except maybe Chris?
If somebody looks at my life and see perfection, they’re not seeing the whole story.
Truth is I’ve spent all of my life being unsure of myself and unfocused and confused. I’ve realized I can’t keep going like that. I’ve got to start to head in one direction. I’m done standing still. I’m going to do something – anything, and then hope that it’s the right thing.
* The title of this blogpost, is from the song The Man of a Thousand Faces by Regina Spektor.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Pouring myself a cup of ambition
I’m nervous.
See, I start school tomorrow. It’s been three years since I studied full-time and last time? It kind of sucked most of the time.
Tomorrow there will a lot of new people, and I’ve never been good with large crowds of new people. I always choke on my words and say the dorkiest things. And what am I supposed to do when the inevitable awkward silence arrive. Should I smile? Escape to the nearest bathroom? Devote endless energy into staring at my fingernails?
Oh dear, I’m getting all flustered just thinking about it.
By the way - yes, IRL I am a total dork.
But that’s not all. I don’t plan on being a C-minus student. I’m an overachiever and like to get good grades, and that means I’ll be working my butt of studying. But the weird part is I’m actually looking forward to the whole ‘studying untill past midnight’-thing (I so wasn’t kidding about being a dork).
I’ve recently also landed a really cool job. I’m now officially the one and only go-to Sharepoint-employer at my firm (and I only just learned about Sharepoint 3 months ago). This new job is exciting and full of challenges and sometimes very hard.
I love it.
It’s only part-time, but I know myself well enough to know that I’ll be devoting as much time as possible to the projects I’ve got going on at work. I like finishing what I’ve started and creating results. If that means working until dark (sometimes after), then so be it.
But I’m nervous.
What if I don’t live up to my employer’s expectations?
But what’s worse is what if I don’t live up to my own expectations?
Can I pull this off? Can I deliver results at work and get good grades at school?
More importantly, can I do this, and still be able to not just squeeze in some writing time, but actually develop my talents?
I want to say yes. I want to convince myself that of course it’s possible. An annoying, little voice chirps to me: “Nothing is impossible. The word itself says ´I’m possible´” (I’m not sure if I like that little squeaky voice or not – because some things sure as hell are impossible).
But what happens if I push myself too far? If I throw caution to the wind and give myself fully both to my work, my studies and my writing?
Will I stumble and fall?
I‘m thinking definitely yes.
But will I break?
Or will this makes me stronger?
It’s been a long while since I’ve stretched myself this thin.
Writing. Studying. Working.
(plus exercising, sleeping, eating and all those other annoying yet necessary things)
I’ve decided that I can no longer merely take things one step at a time and wait to see what happens.
I’m done with that.
I’m going to push myself. I’m going to see what happens if I don’t stop to catch my breath, but keep on going.
I am going to throw myself at all these things and stumble and tumble my way across the finish line.
Want to join me?
* Inspiration for this attitude towards the challenges I face: A post on the website Generation Meh.
See, I start school tomorrow. It’s been three years since I studied full-time and last time? It kind of sucked most of the time.
Tomorrow there will a lot of new people, and I’ve never been good with large crowds of new people. I always choke on my words and say the dorkiest things. And what am I supposed to do when the inevitable awkward silence arrive. Should I smile? Escape to the nearest bathroom? Devote endless energy into staring at my fingernails?
Oh dear, I’m getting all flustered just thinking about it.
By the way - yes, IRL I am a total dork.
But that’s not all. I don’t plan on being a C-minus student. I’m an overachiever and like to get good grades, and that means I’ll be working my butt of studying. But the weird part is I’m actually looking forward to the whole ‘studying untill past midnight’-thing (I so wasn’t kidding about being a dork).
I’ve recently also landed a really cool job. I’m now officially the one and only go-to Sharepoint-employer at my firm (and I only just learned about Sharepoint 3 months ago). This new job is exciting and full of challenges and sometimes very hard.
I love it.
It’s only part-time, but I know myself well enough to know that I’ll be devoting as much time as possible to the projects I’ve got going on at work. I like finishing what I’ve started and creating results. If that means working until dark (sometimes after), then so be it.
But I’m nervous.
What if I don’t live up to my employer’s expectations?
But what’s worse is what if I don’t live up to my own expectations?
Can I pull this off? Can I deliver results at work and get good grades at school?
More importantly, can I do this, and still be able to not just squeeze in some writing time, but actually develop my talents?
I want to say yes. I want to convince myself that of course it’s possible. An annoying, little voice chirps to me: “Nothing is impossible. The word itself says ´I’m possible´” (I’m not sure if I like that little squeaky voice or not – because some things sure as hell are impossible).
But what happens if I push myself too far? If I throw caution to the wind and give myself fully both to my work, my studies and my writing?
Will I stumble and fall?
I‘m thinking definitely yes.
But will I break?
Or will this makes me stronger?
It’s been a long while since I’ve stretched myself this thin.
Writing. Studying. Working.
(plus exercising, sleeping, eating and all those other annoying yet necessary things)
I’ve decided that I can no longer merely take things one step at a time and wait to see what happens.
I’m done with that.
I’m going to push myself. I’m going to see what happens if I don’t stop to catch my breath, but keep on going.
I am going to throw myself at all these things and stumble and tumble my way across the finish line.
Want to join me?
* Inspiration for this attitude towards the challenges I face: A post on the website Generation Meh.
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Breaking the rules
The Doctor:
That line above is why I love Doctor Who. Because it really is true. Good men don’t need rules. They simply do what is right.
Find out the one thing you're character would never ever do, and then test their resolve to refrain from breaking their own rules. Some say that rules are meant to be broken. I don't think that is true, but it certainly creates a more interesting story.
"Good men don't need rules. Today is not the day to find out why I have so many.”
That line above is why I love Doctor Who. Because it really is true. Good men don’t need rules. They simply do what is right.
The Doctor: "Didn't anyone ever tell you? There's one thing you never put in a trap — if you're smart, if you value your continued existence, if you have any plans about seeing tomorrow — there's one thing you never — ever put in a trap. Me."
The Doctor is a character that has an abundance of rules. He is a timelord and as such he can see all that is, all that was, all that could be and all that can never come to pass. He sees the fixed points in time and he sees what is in flux. He has to remind himself time and time again to not play god and alter the fixed points in time. He could. But the rules he has defined for himself doesn’t allow it.
All characters have a set of rules and what I love about writing stories is to push my character to break them.
All characters have a set of rules and what I love about writing stories is to push my character to break them.
Forcing my characters to reevaluate their own rules and assumptions about the world, pushing them outside of their comfort-zones, that is incremental to creating a great story.
The Doctor: "The universe is big, it's vast and complicated, and ridiculous. And sometimes, very rarely, impossible things just happen and we call them miracles. And that's the theory. Nine hundred years, never seen one yet, but this would do me."
Find out the one thing you're character would never ever do, and then test their resolve to refrain from breaking their own rules. Some say that rules are meant to be broken. I don't think that is true, but it certainly creates a more interesting story.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Tools for a writer: The Cabinet of Awesome
I read this post today and I had to share.
A cabinet of awesomeness? Yes please, give me one of those.
Ideas are precious. I don’t think there’s such a thing as a bad idea. Sometimes they’re just not ready to be written or we as writers lack the skill to do the idea justice.
But every idea is precious and deserves a place to be kept safe and perhaps even grow into something more.
I don’t have room for a filing cabinet right now, so for now I’ll manage with the folders on my computer, but someday, I’ll have a cabinet of awesome of my own. You can bet on it.
A cabinet of awesomeness? Yes please, give me one of those.
Maybe it'll look like this? I love the rustic feeling of this cabinet.
Ideas are precious. I don’t think there’s such a thing as a bad idea. Sometimes they’re just not ready to be written or we as writers lack the skill to do the idea justice.
This one has a magical feeling surrounding it. And really, what is more magical than an idea?
But every idea is precious and deserves a place to be kept safe and perhaps even grow into something more.
And of course, when I read the words 'Cabinet of Awesomeness' I immediately thought of this little blue box. A more awesome box simply doesn't exist.
I don’t have room for a filing cabinet right now, so for now I’ll manage with the folders on my computer, but someday, I’ll have a cabinet of awesome of my own. You can bet on it.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
The ripple effect of awesome
Dear blogreaders? I love you.
I’m kind of addicted to my blog-stats. To see where you all come from is fascinating. To see what brings you to my blog is even more interesting. I know some blogs get hits because of truly bizarre search-terms. That’s not the case for my blog.
Oh no. There are no hits for sparkly merpires or batman eyebrows (my blog is boring in comparison to the wonder that is the blog of talented writer Carrie Harris)
Do you know what brings readers to this little part of the blogosphere? Aaron Paul. It’s crazy how many hits this post I wrote about him has gotten.
But it’s not just me who’s doling out Aaron Paul goodness. Oh no. By looking through the search terms, I discovered that the adorable Aaron Paul has had a part of another legendary part of TV-series history.
He was on Veronica Mars*.
I re-watched the episode he was credited to be in and he was in it for like a total of 3 minutes, but he was there (unfortunately, none of the scenes he was in are on youtube).
This is just further proof that all exceptionally awesome things in life are connected to the wonderful Aaron Paul.
Lesson to learn: Awesome is as awesome does.
*If you don't know what Veronica Mars is,you're in for a treat. It is a really great TV-show that had too short a life-span. You should check it out, you won't be disappointed.
I’m kind of addicted to my blog-stats. To see where you all come from is fascinating. To see what brings you to my blog is even more interesting. I know some blogs get hits because of truly bizarre search-terms. That’s not the case for my blog.
Oh no. There are no hits for sparkly merpires or batman eyebrows (my blog is boring in comparison to the wonder that is the blog of talented writer Carrie Harris)
Do you know what brings readers to this little part of the blogosphere? Aaron Paul. It’s crazy how many hits this post I wrote about him has gotten.
But it’s not just me who’s doling out Aaron Paul goodness. Oh no. By looking through the search terms, I discovered that the adorable Aaron Paul has had a part of another legendary part of TV-series history.
He was on Veronica Mars*.
I re-watched the episode he was credited to be in and he was in it for like a total of 3 minutes, but he was there (unfortunately, none of the scenes he was in are on youtube).
This is just further proof that all exceptionally awesome things in life are connected to the wonderful Aaron Paul.
Lesson to learn: Awesome is as awesome does.
*If you don't know what Veronica Mars is,you're in for a treat. It is a really great TV-show that had too short a life-span. You should check it out, you won't be disappointed.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
'Suiting up' to face reality
I am an avid watcher of TV-shows and right now there are so many great shows out there. I’ve recently begun watching ‘Suits’ (a show on the wonderful USA network – seriously, I love that network).
I’m having difficulties explaining to people what exactly it is that I like so much about it. First off, there are now vampires in it. No supernatural beings. No violence.
What it does have is an abundance of great dialogue and witty banter between the characters in the show.
Here’s the trailer:
Don’t be fooled by the setting. ‘Suits’ is so much more than just a guy getting a job as a lawyer.
It’s a about a young man who wasted his potential, but through a stroke of luck get a second chance. It’s about getting what you always wanted, finding that it was harder than you thought, but still sticking it out, because it’s worth it.
Patrick J. Adams, who plays the main-character Mike Ross, explains what drew him to the show:
It’s always interesting to see characters that are faced with choices that mirror those you are experiencing in your own life.
Maybe a bit of setup is necessary? I’d had a rough couple of days before the weekend. Unexpected bills and a sucky day at the job was all it took to bring me down. I needed some confirmation that all my hard work wasn’t wasted. That even though things weren’t going my way career-wise, I wasn’t wasting my time.
‘Suits’ gave that to me.
It’s cheesy, but it gave me just the right combination of distraction and inspiration to get me ready for work Monday morning.
It’s just a TV-show, but it helped me face my own reality. So yeah. Thanks for that, dear creators of 'Suits'.
I’m having difficulties explaining to people what exactly it is that I like so much about it. First off, there are now vampires in it. No supernatural beings. No violence.
What it does have is an abundance of great dialogue and witty banter between the characters in the show.
Here’s the trailer:
Don’t be fooled by the setting. ‘Suits’ is so much more than just a guy getting a job as a lawyer.
It’s a about a young man who wasted his potential, but through a stroke of luck get a second chance. It’s about getting what you always wanted, finding that it was harder than you thought, but still sticking it out, because it’s worth it.
Patrick J. Adams, who plays the main-character Mike Ross, explains what drew him to the show:
"The thing that inspired me most about Mike was this idea of getting to a place in your life where you finally have to make the decision to go after what you say you've always wanted."
By the way, this is Patrick. Isn't he just adorable with that cello? No, he doesn't play a cello in 'Suits'. I just really liked the picture.
It’s always interesting to see characters that are faced with choices that mirror those you are experiencing in your own life.
Maybe a bit of setup is necessary? I’d had a rough couple of days before the weekend. Unexpected bills and a sucky day at the job was all it took to bring me down. I needed some confirmation that all my hard work wasn’t wasted. That even though things weren’t going my way career-wise, I wasn’t wasting my time.
‘Suits’ gave that to me.
It’s cheesy, but it gave me just the right combination of distraction and inspiration to get me ready for work Monday morning.
It’s just a TV-show, but it helped me face my own reality. So yeah. Thanks for that, dear creators of 'Suits'.
Monday, August 1, 2011
How to deal with pain a.k.a. the suckiness of life
Short answer: You don’t.
And the long answer? Well, read on…
I saw this vlog by Hank Green and it kindda broke my heart.
The first part is hilarious, but then it turns serious. What do you do when you’re being bullied? How do you deal with life when everything about it sucks?
Hank didn’t know. When he was younger he would cry, he would hate himself and hate his life. He didn’t know how to deal with the pain. He still doesn’t know. To quote him: "You're job is not to deal with it. Your job is to survive it, which you can do because it will end."
I think he’s right. When life truly sucks, you’re not supposed to deal with it. When you’re knee-deep in suck you’re not supposed to somehow grow from the experience. You’re not supposed to learn anything. You’re not supposed to act like a mature human being.
You’re just supposed to survive.
Don’t put additional pressure on yourself to handle whatever suckiness you’re in, in a mature manner. To be nice. To learn from the experience. To behave like a mature adult.
If you want to lie down on the floor and kick and scream, by all means, do it.
If you need to block out the pain to be able to function, then do that.
If you need to cry, then do that.
If you need to take illegal substances or harm yourself, please reconsider (suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem).
Do whatever you can to get through the day (and those long lonely nights). Just please get through, okay?
You can always deal with the repercussions of the pain later. It’s not like that childhood-trauma is going anywhere (sorry to burst your bubble).
But before you can even begin to deal with your pain, you need to get through it.
So yeah. I don’t know how to deal with pain.
I don’t know what to do when life sucks and your cat just drowned and you just got dumped and they just cancelled your favorite TV-show (I’m looking at you, the TV-network that cancelled Veronica Mars).
I don’t think anybody really knows how to deal with soul-crushing pain. Should you know the answer please enlighten me.
But you’re not supposed to deal with your pain. Not while you’re in it.
You’re just supposed to survive.
And for what it’s worth, it will get better.
(I hear there are talks of a Veronica Mars-movie… hey a girl can dream right?)
And the long answer? Well, read on…
I saw this vlog by Hank Green and it kindda broke my heart.
The first part is hilarious, but then it turns serious. What do you do when you’re being bullied? How do you deal with life when everything about it sucks?
Hank didn’t know. When he was younger he would cry, he would hate himself and hate his life. He didn’t know how to deal with the pain. He still doesn’t know. To quote him: "You're job is not to deal with it. Your job is to survive it, which you can do because it will end."
I think he’s right. When life truly sucks, you’re not supposed to deal with it. When you’re knee-deep in suck you’re not supposed to somehow grow from the experience. You’re not supposed to learn anything. You’re not supposed to act like a mature human being.
You’re just supposed to survive.
Don’t put additional pressure on yourself to handle whatever suckiness you’re in, in a mature manner. To be nice. To learn from the experience. To behave like a mature adult.
Sad Aaron Paul accompanied by sad cat. It's a double-whammy of sadness.
If you want to lie down on the floor and kick and scream, by all means, do it.
If you need to block out the pain to be able to function, then do that.
If you need to cry, then do that.
If you need to take illegal substances or harm yourself, please reconsider (suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem).
Do whatever you can to get through the day (and those long lonely nights). Just please get through, okay?
You can always deal with the repercussions of the pain later. It’s not like that childhood-trauma is going anywhere (sorry to burst your bubble).
But before you can even begin to deal with your pain, you need to get through it.
So yeah. I don’t know how to deal with pain.
I don’t know what to do when life sucks and your cat just drowned and you just got dumped and they just cancelled your favorite TV-show (I’m looking at you, the TV-network that cancelled Veronica Mars).
I don’t think anybody really knows how to deal with soul-crushing pain. Should you know the answer please enlighten me.
But you’re not supposed to deal with your pain. Not while you’re in it.
You’re just supposed to survive.
And for what it’s worth, it will get better.
See? Aaron is smiling at you. He's happy again. You will be happy again too. I promise.
(I hear there are talks of a Veronica Mars-movie… hey a girl can dream right?)
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
"The concept is insignificant"
I read an interview by TVLine where Jeff Wachtel and Chris McCumber, co-presidents of the USA Network, talked about their successful TV-shows*. The interviewer asked them what percent of a show's success was attributed to casting versus concept.
This was Wachtel’s answer:
According to google a concept is an abstract idea; a general notion.
What I get from this, is that the premise of your story doesn’t have to be very original, fantastic or engaging.
You don’t have to wait for the perfect idea to write a story. The idea (or the concept/premise/[insert other buzzword here]) is insignificant. It’s just the excuse for the story to be created. I’s the writing that can make (or break) a story.
Stop waiting for that perfect idea to come slamming into you. Just write. It doesn’t matter if you feel like it’s the most unoriginal story ever. It doesn’t matter if you feel like all you write is a bunch of clichés. It’s not the concept of a story that matters. It’s the writing.
So write.
*USA Network is responsible for TV-shows such as Monk, Burn Notice, Psych and my personal favourite Covert Affairs. Do you know why I love that show? Other than the fact that it’s very entertaining and well-written, it also features the awesome and adorable Chris Gorham.
Who can say no to that? So yeah. You should watch that show. It’s good.
This was Wachtel’s answer:
“If I might, it would be casting versus writing; the concept is insignificant. The writer is almost half, and the cast is the other half. There’s a little bit about the concept, but it’s almost the excuse for the show to take place.”
According to google a concept is an abstract idea; a general notion.
What I get from this, is that the premise of your story doesn’t have to be very original, fantastic or engaging.
You don’t have to wait for the perfect idea to write a story. The idea (or the concept/premise/[insert other buzzword here]) is insignificant. It’s just the excuse for the story to be created. I’s the writing that can make (or break) a story.
Stop waiting for that perfect idea to come slamming into you. Just write. It doesn’t matter if you feel like it’s the most unoriginal story ever. It doesn’t matter if you feel like all you write is a bunch of clichés. It’s not the concept of a story that matters. It’s the writing.
So write.
*USA Network is responsible for TV-shows such as Monk, Burn Notice, Psych and my personal favourite Covert Affairs. Do you know why I love that show? Other than the fact that it’s very entertaining and well-written, it also features the awesome and adorable Chris Gorham.
Who can say no to that? So yeah. You should watch that show. It’s good.
Monday, July 11, 2011
CopyCats
For the longest while, I would see all these cool things around me and marvel at them. I would never dare to make them my own and try to get the coolness into my own life. I would just sit by the sideline and appreciate the beautiful things around me.
Who was I to think that I could pull of that hair-do? Who was I to even consider pursuing a career as a writer? The only place I’d ever be awesome would be in my dreams. Who was I? No one special. And as such, I couldn’t do anything special.
But you know what? That’s not the way life works.
It’s not a case of ‘She has it, so I can’t have it too’. Being awesome isn’t some kind of child’s toy that only one person is allowed to play with at a time.
I wish somebody would have told me that. Maybe someone did. I wish I would have believed them.
Life is not a case of you either have it or you don’t.
If you see something you like, you are allowed to copy it. I’d even encourage it.
Somewhere along the way, it became a big no-no to be a copycat. You were supposed to be awesome just by being you. And maybe there are people out there who can do that, but I couldn’t. As a teenager I had no idea who I was or even who I wanted to be.
It sucked.
And because I felt so decidedly un-awesome, I came to the conclusion that I just didn’t have what it took to be awesome. I obviously wasn’t anything special. I didn’t deserve anything special.
But that’s not true.
I’m not saying that we’re all unique little snowflakes with superstars and rockstars inside of us. We’re not.
But that doesn’t mean that our lives can’t be awesome.
Quite the contrary.
Not to be a Debbie-downer, but we are all going to die. It’s pretty much the only thing in life you can count on so get used to the idea that this is all you get.
Since this life is all we get, doesn’t it makes sense to cram as much awesome in it as humanly possible?
If I see something I like, I mimic it and try to adapt it to my own life.
I’m a CopyCat and proud of it.
Who was I to think that I could pull of that hair-do? Who was I to even consider pursuing a career as a writer? The only place I’d ever be awesome would be in my dreams. Who was I? No one special. And as such, I couldn’t do anything special.
But you know what? That’s not the way life works.
It’s not a case of ‘She has it, so I can’t have it too’. Being awesome isn’t some kind of child’s toy that only one person is allowed to play with at a time.
I wish somebody would have told me that. Maybe someone did. I wish I would have believed them.
Life is not a case of you either have it or you don’t.
If you see something you like, you are allowed to copy it. I’d even encourage it.
Somewhere along the way, it became a big no-no to be a copycat. You were supposed to be awesome just by being you. And maybe there are people out there who can do that, but I couldn’t. As a teenager I had no idea who I was or even who I wanted to be.
It sucked.
And because I felt so decidedly un-awesome, I came to the conclusion that I just didn’t have what it took to be awesome. I obviously wasn’t anything special. I didn’t deserve anything special.
But that’s not true.
I’m not saying that we’re all unique little snowflakes with superstars and rockstars inside of us. We’re not.
Tyler Durden agrees with me.
But that doesn’t mean that our lives can’t be awesome.
Quite the contrary.
Not to be a Debbie-downer, but we are all going to die. It’s pretty much the only thing in life you can count on so get used to the idea that this is all you get.
Since this life is all we get, doesn’t it makes sense to cram as much awesome in it as humanly possible?
If I see something I like, I mimic it and try to adapt it to my own life.
I’m a CopyCat and proud of it.
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Where did June go?
I know that time is on my side, but it’s moving very quickly at the moment. A lot is happening. A lot of good things.
Awesome things that have happened to me in the last month:
All those awesome things? They happened because I made them happen.
It’s odd, but sometimes good things happen. Sometimes when you go after what you want, you actually get it. I’m still not quite used to this whole ‘Life is good’-bit that’s been happening to me lately. But if you’re out there, and you’re struggling, I guess I just want you to know that good things to happen to good people.
I found this video on YouTube today, and I thought I’d share it with you guys.
Formula for success:
10 % luck + 20 % skill + 15 % concentrated power of will + 5 % pleasure + 50 % pain = 100 % reason to remember the name!
Awesome things that have happened to me in the last month:
- I got the acceptance letter for ITU. I’m going to be a student come this fall. And even though I had a little resistance toward returning to school (understatement of the year), I’m really looking forward to it now.
- I got a roommate.
- I got short hair. Like, really short.
- I got a desk at the IT department in G4S.
- I got wireless internet in my apartment.
All those awesome things? They happened because I made them happen.
It’s odd, but sometimes good things happen. Sometimes when you go after what you want, you actually get it. I’m still not quite used to this whole ‘Life is good’-bit that’s been happening to me lately. But if you’re out there, and you’re struggling, I guess I just want you to know that good things to happen to good people.
I found this video on YouTube today, and I thought I’d share it with you guys.
Formula for success:
10 % luck + 20 % skill + 15 % concentrated power of will + 5 % pleasure + 50 % pain = 100 % reason to remember the name!
Monday, June 13, 2011
... and that ain't wrong
It’s kind of weird how the happy can continue to shine.
There are no doubts in my life right now. None. There are still things I’d like to improve, and things I simply have to put on the back-burner because of lack of time or money.
But I know where I want to go, and the path is clear.
Wauw, I sound all grown-up right now, don’t I?
But you know? This is the first time I actually feel like my life is good. Before, it was just a label. Now, it’s reality.
I can’t tell you why. Maybe it was because my life truly sucked for a while back there. But now? I’m finally to feel the happy and it’s wonderful. It's like I've finally gotten a sense of direction back into my life. I've been drifting for years now. Holding on to fragile dreams and hoping for a better tomorrow. But now I know that today is fantastic, and tomorrow will be even better.
And because music is such a fantastic way to communicate feelings, here’s a song that perfectly fits my mood.
The song is by Swedish singer/songwriter Salem Al Fakir.
If you want to take a sneak peak into my past, then he's also written this song. It's dark. Very dark. And it's where I was about a year ago.But now I'm happy. Happy happy, joy joy.
There are no doubts in my life right now. None. There are still things I’d like to improve, and things I simply have to put on the back-burner because of lack of time or money.
But I know where I want to go, and the path is clear.
Wauw, I sound all grown-up right now, don’t I?
But you know? This is the first time I actually feel like my life is good. Before, it was just a label. Now, it’s reality.
I can’t tell you why. Maybe it was because my life truly sucked for a while back there. But now? I’m finally to feel the happy and it’s wonderful. It's like I've finally gotten a sense of direction back into my life. I've been drifting for years now. Holding on to fragile dreams and hoping for a better tomorrow. But now I know that today is fantastic, and tomorrow will be even better.
And because music is such a fantastic way to communicate feelings, here’s a song that perfectly fits my mood.
The song is by Swedish singer/songwriter Salem Al Fakir.
If you want to take a sneak peak into my past, then he's also written this song. It's dark. Very dark. And it's where I was about a year ago.But now I'm happy. Happy happy, joy joy.
Friday, June 10, 2011
Sharing the happy
I've been listening alot to Mika lately. His songs are so vibrant, full of life and happy (even when dealing with things that are sad).
I like that he can be sad without succumbing to sadness.
There's no better way to start my day, than to plug in my earphones and listen to him telling me that everybody's gonna love today. Love, love me.
Have a great weekend!
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Things I like: My life
Sometimes? I’m not a very happy person. Like. Really not happy.
But right now, I’m smiling.
I’d love to be able to tell you why. To tell you exactly how to become happy. But I can’t give you a blow-by-blow description of how things shifted for me.
I can only tell you why I’m happy in this moment.
It’s a mix of a lot of different things, but generally speaking, I really like the direction my life is taking. Work is going splendid. I’m to start school this fall. I’ve begun to talk to old friends I hadn’t even realized I’d missed. My family is pleasant to be around. Life is good.
Weirdly enough, this streak of happiness isn’t because of some guy, who’s come to sweep me off my feet. I haven’t met prince charming on a white horse.
But it does kind of feel like I’m in love.
Maybe I’m in love with my own life? It sounds corny and self-involved. And it’s not that I can’t see areas in my life that couldn't be improved, but I just feel like those areas are getting increasingly insignificant. It’s just a matter of time before they’re gone. And time is on my side.
I like where I am, and I like where I’m going. I couldn’t very well ask for more?
I don’t know how long my streak of happiness will last. I try not to think about it (but a small voice in my head keep insisting that it won’t last forever).
In this very moment, I’m just happy and thankful for my happiness (and I suppose I’d only take it for granted, if I wasn’t afraid of losing it).
But right now, I’m smiling.
Aaron Paul is happy as well
I’d love to be able to tell you why. To tell you exactly how to become happy. But I can’t give you a blow-by-blow description of how things shifted for me.
I can only tell you why I’m happy in this moment.
It’s a mix of a lot of different things, but generally speaking, I really like the direction my life is taking. Work is going splendid. I’m to start school this fall. I’ve begun to talk to old friends I hadn’t even realized I’d missed. My family is pleasant to be around. Life is good.
The 10th Doctor thinks that life is pretty swell as well.
Weirdly enough, this streak of happiness isn’t because of some guy, who’s come to sweep me off my feet. I haven’t met prince charming on a white horse.
But it does kind of feel like I’m in love.
Maybe I’m in love with my own life? It sounds corny and self-involved. And it’s not that I can’t see areas in my life that couldn't be improved, but I just feel like those areas are getting increasingly insignificant. It’s just a matter of time before they’re gone. And time is on my side.
I like where I am, and I like where I’m going. I couldn’t very well ask for more?
Except maybe the 10th Doctor looking at me like that, inviting me to board his TARDIS.
I don’t know how long my streak of happiness will last. I try not to think about it (but a small voice in my head keep insisting that it won’t last forever).
In this very moment, I’m just happy and thankful for my happiness (and I suppose I’d only take it for granted, if I wasn’t afraid of losing it).
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Life:
It’s all about the storms. The silence that precedes them and the rainbows that follow them.
You can't control the storms. You shouldn't try. They will take you somewhere magical. I promise.
Monday, May 30, 2011
If there are no limits, where do you start?
Have you guys seen the movie ‘Limitless’? Trailer below.
The movie is about a struggling writer, barely able to complete a sentence, let alone a manuscript. He’s depressed. He’s just been dumped by his girlfriend of several years. He’s a low as he’d ever been.
Then these pills come along.
He takes one and suddenly sees the world in a whole different way.
It’s like he has superpowers, but all that these pills do, is enable him to use the full capacity of his brain, to remember everything he’s ever read/seen/heard, and to simply connect the dots.
They allow him to see the bigger picture and how to get to where he wants.
One of the first things he does when he gets this ability is clean his apartment.
Isn't that just perfect?
He walks into his apartment and sees it like a stranger would. He evaluates his surroundings, deem that they are insufficient and then immediately starts to improve on them. He doesn’t move on. He doesn’t give up. He simply starts from where he is, and begins to improve on what is right in front of him.
He could have left the apartment and never look back. He could have shut out the clutter and sit down to write. He could have torched the place. He could have gone anywhere in the world.
But he didn’t.
A man with a four digit IQ, decided that the best thing he could spend his time on, would be to clean his apartment.
Because you have to improve on what's right in front of you, if you want to move forward.
Then these pills come along.
He takes one and suddenly sees the world in a whole different way.
It’s like he has superpowers, but all that these pills do, is enable him to use the full capacity of his brain, to remember everything he’s ever read/seen/heard, and to simply connect the dots.
They allow him to see the bigger picture and how to get to where he wants.
One of the first things he does when he gets this ability is clean his apartment.
Isn't that just perfect?
He walks into his apartment and sees it like a stranger would. He evaluates his surroundings, deem that they are insufficient and then immediately starts to improve on them. He doesn’t move on. He doesn’t give up. He simply starts from where he is, and begins to improve on what is right in front of him.
He could have left the apartment and never look back. He could have shut out the clutter and sit down to write. He could have torched the place. He could have gone anywhere in the world.
But he didn’t.
A man with a four digit IQ, decided that the best thing he could spend his time on, would be to clean his apartment.
Because you have to improve on what's right in front of you, if you want to move forward.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Paranoid Speculations
Do you believe in destiny? That your path is set? That you have a certain purpose in life that has to be fulfilled?
What if someone pushes you of your path? What if they steal your future? Do you believe that could be possible?
You continue living your life, but something feels off. There’s an itch at the back of your mind, telling you that something isn’t right. And then you start to notice that the life you always imagined for yourself is being lived by other people. People you know. People you used to call friends.
One person gets the bookdeal that was meant for you. The other gets the man of your dreams. Yet another one buys the house you always pictured growing old in, and so it goes with every last one of your dreams.
It feels as if the best possible version of your future has been stolen, broken into to pieces and redistributed.
But why? And by whom?
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Taxes, taxes, taxes...
I am sitting at my local café feeling like my mind has been turned into stale marshmallow fluff. I spent the whole day figuring out how to file my taxes with the IRS. Reading informational pamphlets. Following instructional manuals. Crunching numbers.
The form I filled out is 2 pages. The instructions to filling out those two pages are 175 pages. The pamphlet containing further information about the form is a staggering 295 pages.
If you need a total of 470 pages to explain the functionality of a form that is two pages long, then you’re doing something wrong.
It’s actually quite funny if you think about it.
Sad, infuriating and stupid. But also definitely funny.
I guess if you can’t beat them, you can always ‘point-laugh’ at them.
The form I filled out is 2 pages. The instructions to filling out those two pages are 175 pages. The pamphlet containing further information about the form is a staggering 295 pages.
If you need a total of 470 pages to explain the functionality of a form that is two pages long, then you’re doing something wrong.
It’s actually quite funny if you think about it.
Sad, infuriating and stupid. But also definitely funny.
I guess if you can’t beat them, you can always ‘point-laugh’ at them.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Who’s to say what's real?
I had a dream yesterday during a midday nap (why yes, I sleep during the day, for no other reason than I like it and because I can). I don’t usually remember my dreams, which is fine by me. Then I don’t have to spend copious amounts of time analyzing them to death. As it is, I like to sleep. It’s usually an enjoyable experience.
But not this time.
On this afternoon I awoke, terrified. My heart was pounding and I felt as if I was still in the dream. Reality didn’t seem quite real. I stayed in my bed for a few minutes, convincing myself that I was indeed in my own bed. That the dream I’d just had wasn’t real. That is was nothing but a nightmare.
Why do our minds think up these evil, evil dreams? Why is it that the same mind that can think up the most wondrous things, sometimes turns against us?
I was afraid to go to sleep last night. And in hindsight it definitely didn’t help that I’ve just begun reading The Sandman series by Neil Gaiman.
As I lay in my bed and it was time to sleep, I was afraid that the dream might come again. I couldn’t relax. My body was full of fear-based adrenaline.
When we are asleep, we are truly defenseless.
Sleep did eventually come.
Luckily, the dream did not. Or if it did, I don’t remember.
The things we experience and most importantly feel during our dreams, linger on in our minds when we’re awake. It blurs the line between that which we call reality and that which is something else entirely.
“Just because it’s a dream, doesn’t mean it’s not real.” – Lucifer (Supernatural*, season 5 episode 1)
*And because I mentioned Supernatural, here is a picture of my favorite of the show, Jensen Ackles. Isn't he delicious?
But not this time.
On this afternoon I awoke, terrified. My heart was pounding and I felt as if I was still in the dream. Reality didn’t seem quite real. I stayed in my bed for a few minutes, convincing myself that I was indeed in my own bed. That the dream I’d just had wasn’t real. That is was nothing but a nightmare.
Why do our minds think up these evil, evil dreams? Why is it that the same mind that can think up the most wondrous things, sometimes turns against us?
I was afraid to go to sleep last night. And in hindsight it definitely didn’t help that I’ve just begun reading The Sandman series by Neil Gaiman.
As I lay in my bed and it was time to sleep, I was afraid that the dream might come again. I couldn’t relax. My body was full of fear-based adrenaline.
When we are asleep, we are truly defenseless.
Sleep did eventually come.
Luckily, the dream did not. Or if it did, I don’t remember.
The things we experience and most importantly feel during our dreams, linger on in our minds when we’re awake. It blurs the line between that which we call reality and that which is something else entirely.
“Just because it’s a dream, doesn’t mean it’s not real.” – Lucifer (Supernatural*, season 5 episode 1)
*And because I mentioned Supernatural, here is a picture of my favorite of the show, Jensen Ackles. Isn't he delicious?
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Inspirational advice: Director's cut
I feel like I’m being haunted by good advice. From every corner of the interweb I’ve gotten inspirational speeches thrown at me. Maybe the universe sensed a need in me and then promptly sought to fulfill it. I like that thought. Anything that puts me in the center of the universe is a strangely comforting thought (no, I'm not narcissistic, why’d you say that?)
Looking back, I can see that it started with this post by Kiersten White. It’s very inspirational for all us fantasy-writer. Fantastic artwork as well.
Here’s a limerick about jumping over the deep pit of despair filled with ice-cream (just watch it - you’ll get it)
There’s the full version of Carpe Diem. Maybe I'm ignorant, but I didn't know that 'carpe diem' only were the two first words. The full version (in English) is: “Seize the day, believing as little as possible in the future.” (I feel as if I've just been shown the director's cut of a piece of inspirational advice).
And then there’s this one, a commencement speech by Robert Krulwich to Berkeley Journalism School’s Class of 2011.
It’s long, but it hits a nerve. For me the essence was two simple questions: Why wait? And why assume that someone will take care of you?
Nike’s ‘Just Do It’ tag-line is in my head now. (This, by the way, is a very justifiable use of the word ‘just’)
But seriously. Just do it. Jump across that deep pit of despair filled with ice-cream.
That’s what I intend to do.
We might fall. If I do, you can bet I’ll come running to this blog and whine about it.
But maybe, just maybe we’ll get to fly.
Looking back, I can see that it started with this post by Kiersten White. It’s very inspirational for all us fantasy-writer. Fantastic artwork as well.
Here’s a limerick about jumping over the deep pit of despair filled with ice-cream (just watch it - you’ll get it)
There’s the full version of Carpe Diem. Maybe I'm ignorant, but I didn't know that 'carpe diem' only were the two first words. The full version (in English) is: “Seize the day, believing as little as possible in the future.” (I feel as if I've just been shown the director's cut of a piece of inspirational advice).
And then there’s this one, a commencement speech by Robert Krulwich to Berkeley Journalism School’s Class of 2011.
It’s long, but it hits a nerve. For me the essence was two simple questions: Why wait? And why assume that someone will take care of you?
Nike’s ‘Just Do It’ tag-line is in my head now. (This, by the way, is a very justifiable use of the word ‘just’)
But seriously. Just do it. Jump across that deep pit of despair filled with ice-cream.
That’s what I intend to do.
We might fall. If I do, you can bet I’ll come running to this blog and whine about it.
But maybe, just maybe we’ll get to fly.
Monday, May 16, 2011
A day in the life of me
6.45. The alarm on my phone rings. I’ve gotten maybe 6 hours sleep at this point. I slam it shut and it goes out. I vaguely register that it is low on power.
7.47. I open my eyes. Shouldn’t the alarmed have sounded again? Shouldn’t I be out and about? I look at my phone. It’s off. And then I remember that it was low on power. I quickly stumble out of bed. First thing I do is plug in my phone. And then I’m a whirlwind of movement as I get myself ready to face the world.
08.09. I leave my apartment. Amazing how quickly I can get myself ready for work right? I can inform you that I did not have time to apply make-up. I did get to brush my teeth, so that’s always something.
08.17. In the train on my way to work and I swear to never drink coffee again. I had two cups during Sunday. The result was I didn’t sleep until way too late. I like to sleep. Preferably 8 hours. Sometimes more. I look out of the window and listen to music. Jason Mraz, Geek in the Pink, among others.
8.41. I arrive at work. The others are still eating breakfast and I join them with my bottle of water. Talk of the weekend ensues. I’m the youngest in the group and still the only one who wasn’t out partying it up. I don’t mind. I like not being hung-over. And I spent my time watching Doctor Who. No party is better than that.
8.57. Sitting in front of my email and work starts. It’s a slow day. But time still passes remarkably quickly. I teach my replacement lots of new stuff. But don’t really get anything done myself. There were some technical difficulties as well and that also slowed down the day.
12.06 LUNCH! I get out in the cafeteria later than usual. There aren’t any vacant seats with the rest of my department, so I sit down at the table with some IT-guys. And then more stories about the weekend ensue. It really seems as if I were the only one who weren’t intoxicated this past weekend. Yay me?
Anyway, I somehow get the IT-guys to help me with the summer-party I’m throwing at work. Thank God. I was beginning to feel like I was alone with it.
12.43 Lunch is over. It’s weird, but it’s felt like the most productive part of my day so far.
12.48 More work. I honestly can’t remember what I did. A lot of running from one floor to the next and back again. I have a feeling I actually got something done. The technical difficulties were resolved.
14.32 My replacement leaves. I briefly consider doing actual work, but decide against it. She’s supposed to learn all aspects of my job. Can’t very well steal a chance for learning something away from her, can I? So I surf the Internet. Among other things I read this article (you should read it too).
15:15 I begin to think that I’ve now scoured the Internet enough. I open a program on my computer and begin to do my homework (why yes, I do love my job, very much indeed!). I work full-time but I guess I had too much spare-time, because I started attending a computer programming class. The exam is in 3 weeks. I don’t feel nearly well enough prepared.
15:56 My boss who is sitting opposite of me says that he is done for the day. Asks if I’m ready to go as well. I am. Oh boy I am. But it’s raining outside and I don’t want to get wet. It’s a 15-minute walk from the office to the train-station. I tell him as much and he offers to give me a lift to the station. And as quick as a crack of a whip, we’re out of there.
16.06 I’m in the train headed towards Copenhagen. Work is done for the day. But what do to with the rest of the afternoon and evening?
16.36 I’m in a local shop. It’s having a sale because it’s moving to a different location. I buy some clothes I don’t really need. I need new shoes though. Must really buy new shoes. I also buy the ugliest notebook I’ve ever laid eyes on. I’m going to use it make my daily affirmations. I will probably talk about those another day.
17.06 I’m home. At last. I like my home. I change clothes. I’m off work now. No reason to wear work-clothes any more.
17.08 I do my first ever affirmations. Feel really silly as I do them.
17.25 I’m sitting on my bed trying to decide what to do for the evening. Stay home? Go out? Do homework? Write on my story? To help me make this decision I use Tarot cards.
17.50 I leave for a café near City Hall Plaza in Copenhagen. It’s still raining. I don’t mind. I like rain. I’m now wearing make-up. Not a lot, just enough to make me feel prettier than usual. I like to feel pretty.
18.13 I’m at the café. The barista is singing songs to himself and being really nice. I secretly wish that he would be 5 years older. His nametag says Viktor. I should really use that name in a story. I order a brownie and a single-shot small latte. Yes. That's right, I'm already drinking coffee again. But it's only a single-shot so I firgure it will be alright.
18.25 First I surf. Then I do homework. I actually get a lot done.
19.37 Feeling tired. I guess I should have bought a regular coffee instead of a single-shot latte.
20.02 Ooooh, free coffee samples are being handed out. Yay!
20.43 I decide to write a blogpost. This blogpost.
21.04 First draft of blogpost is done. Now I just got to decide if it is worth publishing.
21.31 Blogpost polished and soon-to-be published.
And now I have to decide what to do next. I'm over-caffeinated (again - damn you free coffee!) so sleep isn't really an option for the next couple of hours. I think I'll go home and write on my WIP. That's always a good way to end a day.
7.47. I open my eyes. Shouldn’t the alarmed have sounded again? Shouldn’t I be out and about? I look at my phone. It’s off. And then I remember that it was low on power. I quickly stumble out of bed. First thing I do is plug in my phone. And then I’m a whirlwind of movement as I get myself ready to face the world.
08.09. I leave my apartment. Amazing how quickly I can get myself ready for work right? I can inform you that I did not have time to apply make-up. I did get to brush my teeth, so that’s always something.
08.17. In the train on my way to work and I swear to never drink coffee again. I had two cups during Sunday. The result was I didn’t sleep until way too late. I like to sleep. Preferably 8 hours. Sometimes more. I look out of the window and listen to music. Jason Mraz, Geek in the Pink, among others.
8.41. I arrive at work. The others are still eating breakfast and I join them with my bottle of water. Talk of the weekend ensues. I’m the youngest in the group and still the only one who wasn’t out partying it up. I don’t mind. I like not being hung-over. And I spent my time watching Doctor Who. No party is better than that.
8.57. Sitting in front of my email and work starts. It’s a slow day. But time still passes remarkably quickly. I teach my replacement lots of new stuff. But don’t really get anything done myself. There were some technical difficulties as well and that also slowed down the day.
12.06 LUNCH! I get out in the cafeteria later than usual. There aren’t any vacant seats with the rest of my department, so I sit down at the table with some IT-guys. And then more stories about the weekend ensue. It really seems as if I were the only one who weren’t intoxicated this past weekend. Yay me?
Anyway, I somehow get the IT-guys to help me with the summer-party I’m throwing at work. Thank God. I was beginning to feel like I was alone with it.
12.43 Lunch is over. It’s weird, but it’s felt like the most productive part of my day so far.
12.48 More work. I honestly can’t remember what I did. A lot of running from one floor to the next and back again. I have a feeling I actually got something done. The technical difficulties were resolved.
14.32 My replacement leaves. I briefly consider doing actual work, but decide against it. She’s supposed to learn all aspects of my job. Can’t very well steal a chance for learning something away from her, can I? So I surf the Internet. Among other things I read this article (you should read it too).
15:15 I begin to think that I’ve now scoured the Internet enough. I open a program on my computer and begin to do my homework (why yes, I do love my job, very much indeed!). I work full-time but I guess I had too much spare-time, because I started attending a computer programming class. The exam is in 3 weeks. I don’t feel nearly well enough prepared.
15:56 My boss who is sitting opposite of me says that he is done for the day. Asks if I’m ready to go as well. I am. Oh boy I am. But it’s raining outside and I don’t want to get wet. It’s a 15-minute walk from the office to the train-station. I tell him as much and he offers to give me a lift to the station. And as quick as a crack of a whip, we’re out of there.
16.06 I’m in the train headed towards Copenhagen. Work is done for the day. But what do to with the rest of the afternoon and evening?
16.36 I’m in a local shop. It’s having a sale because it’s moving to a different location. I buy some clothes I don’t really need. I need new shoes though. Must really buy new shoes. I also buy the ugliest notebook I’ve ever laid eyes on. I’m going to use it make my daily affirmations. I will probably talk about those another day.
17.06 I’m home. At last. I like my home. I change clothes. I’m off work now. No reason to wear work-clothes any more.
17.08 I do my first ever affirmations. Feel really silly as I do them.
17.25 I’m sitting on my bed trying to decide what to do for the evening. Stay home? Go out? Do homework? Write on my story? To help me make this decision I use Tarot cards.
17.50 I leave for a café near City Hall Plaza in Copenhagen. It’s still raining. I don’t mind. I like rain. I’m now wearing make-up. Not a lot, just enough to make me feel prettier than usual. I like to feel pretty.
18.13 I’m at the café. The barista is singing songs to himself and being really nice. I secretly wish that he would be 5 years older. His nametag says Viktor. I should really use that name in a story. I order a brownie and a single-shot small latte. Yes. That's right, I'm already drinking coffee again. But it's only a single-shot so I firgure it will be alright.
18.25 First I surf. Then I do homework. I actually get a lot done.
19.37 Feeling tired. I guess I should have bought a regular coffee instead of a single-shot latte.
20.02 Ooooh, free coffee samples are being handed out. Yay!
20.43 I decide to write a blogpost. This blogpost.
21.04 First draft of blogpost is done. Now I just got to decide if it is worth publishing.
21.31 Blogpost polished and soon-to-be published.
And now I have to decide what to do next. I'm over-caffeinated (again - damn you free coffee!) so sleep isn't really an option for the next couple of hours. I think I'll go home and write on my WIP. That's always a good way to end a day.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Sadness: It's happy for deep people.*
I haven’t been thinking a lot of happy thoughts lately, and I’ve not felt like sharing the dark things on my mind. Not in greater detail than I already have, anyway. But I had a revelation of sorts today that I would like to share with you.
It came to me from reading this status-update on facebook: “lifestyle changes... mention one thing you would like to change about your way of life?”
It’s a simple enough question but I was actually stumped. I didn’t know what to answer. If I could, what would I like to change about my life?
I didn’t know. And I guess that would be okay, if I were actually happy. But I’m not happy. I haven’t been happy for a while now (not to say that I’m miserable all the time, but I get hit with waves of sadness sometimes, and I don’t think that is the way life is supposed to be).
I didn’t know what I wanted to change about my life. What behavioral pattern I wanted to modify. I just thought that I’d like to be more happy. To feel less sad. But I didn’t want anything to actually change.
"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results" – Albert Einstein.
Yeah. That’s what I’m doing. That’s how I’m living my life. Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting that it will one day make me happy.
No wonder I’m going crazy.
But the thing is I actually really like my life. I like myself. I like my apartment. I like my family. I like my friends. I like my job. I like my co-workers. I even like my boss. I really do just like my life and don’t particular want it to change.
But maybe I need it to?
I don’t know.
After thinking about it (because if you haven’t noticed there’s one thing I do extremely well, and that is thinking about stuff until I’ve thought it into bits and pieces), I did have one thing I’d like to change about my way of life: I’d like to exercise more often.
It seems like a small thing to do and nothing that would have a life-altering effect on my general level of happiness. And it feels like such a cliché. How many New Years’ resolutions haven’t consisted of an intention to exercise more? But since it’s the only tangible thing I can think of, that’s what I’m going to do.
Things do need to change. I can’t keep doing the same things over and over again. It won’t make me happy. And going for a run a few times a week probably won’t change my life. But it’s a place to start.
Can you mention one thing you’d like to change about your way of life?
* PS. Extra points if you can tell where this slightly modified quote is from.
Friday, May 6, 2011
It’s just a word, right?
“Oh I’m not a real writer. This is just a little hobby of mine – only something I do for fun.“
Do those words sound like something you’ve heard before?
It’s hard, owning up to the fact that you actually want something. That you have accomplished something and that you’re proud of what you accomplished – especially when it comes to creative writing.
I’ve noticed something about me that I don’t particular like (understatement of the year). Not only do I belittle my own accomplishments, but I also belittle the accomplishments of my friends.
“Oh her? She’s just an office assistant. And him? He only went to school for 2 years.”
I sound like a snob, don’t I? It’s horrible. I hate that I do this.
It’s just words that are coming out of my mouth and I don’t mean any harm when I say them, but I should know better. There’s no such thing as ‘just’ a word.
It’s never ‘just’ words.
By placing that annoying little word in the middle of my sentence I’ve belittled the entire essence of the sentence, and I don’t want to do that anymore.
Words have power.
Small words like 'just' sometimes have more power that we think.
As of today I’m going to limit my use of the words that de-evaluate the essence of what I’m saying. I’m not going to expel these words from my vocabulary completely (nothing good ever comes from being extremist), but from now on I will use them much more carefully.
Do those words sound like something you’ve heard before?
It’s hard, owning up to the fact that you actually want something. That you have accomplished something and that you’re proud of what you accomplished – especially when it comes to creative writing.
I’ve noticed something about me that I don’t particular like (understatement of the year). Not only do I belittle my own accomplishments, but I also belittle the accomplishments of my friends.
“Oh her? She’s just an office assistant. And him? He only went to school for 2 years.”
I sound like a snob, don’t I? It’s horrible. I hate that I do this.
It’s just words that are coming out of my mouth and I don’t mean any harm when I say them, but I should know better. There’s no such thing as ‘just’ a word.
It’s never ‘just’ words.
By placing that annoying little word in the middle of my sentence I’ve belittled the entire essence of the sentence, and I don’t want to do that anymore.
Words have power.
Small words like 'just' sometimes have more power that we think.
As of today I’m going to limit my use of the words that de-evaluate the essence of what I’m saying. I’m not going to expel these words from my vocabulary completely (nothing good ever comes from being extremist), but from now on I will use them much more carefully.
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Some days my heart aches
Not all days. Not even most days.
But there are days when my heart aches.
I was 22 when my heart got shattered into bits and pieces.
Nothing can prepare you for the pain. To say it hurts would be an understatement.
It feels like your chest is ripped apart, your heart removed, and all that is left is a gaping hole.
You gasp for breath. You try to hold on to everything you can. You scream. You ache. You cry until you fall asleep, exhausted.
You lose 10 pounds, because you’ve lost your appetite. You didn't even notice until your friends and family point it out to you. Who knew heartache could be such an effective diet?
You’re afraid to go to sleep, because you fear those few seconds when you wake up and you’re still somewhere between awake and asleep. You know you'll lose your bearing and forget the cruel reality. You'll think he’s there, lying next to you. You'll roll over to snuggle up against him, like you used to and find his side of the bed empty. The pain hits you all over again. He’s not there. He won’t ever be there again.
You’re as miserable as you’ve ever been.
You decide that anything is better than feeling this way. That it can’t continue. That you can’t go on living like this.
So you bottle up all the hurt and all the misery and put it in the place that used to hold your heart.
As time passes you are able to fool the people around you. “I’m okay,” you say. “It was hard, but my life is better this way.”
You smile trough the pain, because that is what you’re supposed to do.
Some days you are even able to fool yourself into believing that you really are okay.
But when you’re alone with your thoughts, when you lie at night and try to fall asleep, you know that something is off. You try to breathe slowly, to calm yourself. But each breath you take makes it obvious that something is truly and utterly wrong. Something in your chest is heavy. The weight turns even the simple task of breathing into an excruciatingly painful ordeal. It feels like your heart has been replaced by icy cold stone, laced with barbwire.
You’ve effectively turned your heart into stone by bottling up all the pain. But what choice did you have? If you hadn’t done it, you wouldn’t have survived.
You do the only logical thing you can, and continue to ignore your pain. You shift around and try to find a comfortable position for your heart. You breathe lightly. You avoid thoughts and feeling that trigger the hurt. You ignore the elephant in the room.
But the elephant can’t be ignored forever. She will come crashing into your thoughts and feeling with her nauseatingly big trunk. Each time you sit and cry and cradle your head in your hands. You wonder why you haven’t gotten better yet.
Why isn’t this over? Haven’t you suffered enough?
No one has the answer.
You content yourself to focus on your breathing. One breath at a time.
Inhale. Exhale.
Breathing is just a rhythm.
Inhale. Exhale.
Some days my heart aches. Those days get fewer and farther between. It helps to write about it.
One day I suppose the elephant will have turned into a puppy-sized elephant, with the evolutionary advantage of being adorable. Instead of making me sad, she will curl up beside me and snuggle up against me. I'll scratch her between her ears, name her Nora and marvel at how cute she is.
This idea makes me smile.
But there are days when my heart aches.
Nothing can prepare you for the pain. To say it hurts would be an understatement.
It feels like your chest is ripped apart, your heart removed, and all that is left is a gaping hole.
You gasp for breath. You try to hold on to everything you can. You scream. You ache. You cry until you fall asleep, exhausted.
You lose 10 pounds, because you’ve lost your appetite. You didn't even notice until your friends and family point it out to you. Who knew heartache could be such an effective diet?
You’re afraid to go to sleep, because you fear those few seconds when you wake up and you’re still somewhere between awake and asleep. You know you'll lose your bearing and forget the cruel reality. You'll think he’s there, lying next to you. You'll roll over to snuggle up against him, like you used to and find his side of the bed empty. The pain hits you all over again. He’s not there. He won’t ever be there again.
You’re as miserable as you’ve ever been.
You decide that anything is better than feeling this way. That it can’t continue. That you can’t go on living like this.
So you bottle up all the hurt and all the misery and put it in the place that used to hold your heart.
As time passes you are able to fool the people around you. “I’m okay,” you say. “It was hard, but my life is better this way.”
You smile trough the pain, because that is what you’re supposed to do.
Some days you are even able to fool yourself into believing that you really are okay.
But when you’re alone with your thoughts, when you lie at night and try to fall asleep, you know that something is off. You try to breathe slowly, to calm yourself. But each breath you take makes it obvious that something is truly and utterly wrong. Something in your chest is heavy. The weight turns even the simple task of breathing into an excruciatingly painful ordeal. It feels like your heart has been replaced by icy cold stone, laced with barbwire.
You’ve effectively turned your heart into stone by bottling up all the pain. But what choice did you have? If you hadn’t done it, you wouldn’t have survived.
You do the only logical thing you can, and continue to ignore your pain. You shift around and try to find a comfortable position for your heart. You breathe lightly. You avoid thoughts and feeling that trigger the hurt. You ignore the elephant in the room.
But the elephant can’t be ignored forever. She will come crashing into your thoughts and feeling with her nauseatingly big trunk. Each time you sit and cry and cradle your head in your hands. You wonder why you haven’t gotten better yet.
Why isn’t this over? Haven’t you suffered enough?
No one has the answer.
You content yourself to focus on your breathing. One breath at a time.
Inhale. Exhale.
Breathing is just a rhythm.
Inhale. Exhale.
Some days my heart aches. Those days get fewer and farther between. It helps to write about it.
One day I suppose the elephant will have turned into a puppy-sized elephant, with the evolutionary advantage of being adorable. Instead of making me sad, she will curl up beside me and snuggle up against me. I'll scratch her between her ears, name her Nora and marvel at how cute she is.
This idea makes me smile.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Do ingredients make the cake? No. They don't.
I love music. Couldn’t live without it. Okay, maybe I could, but I really don’t want to.
Lately I’ve listened to Mad World on repeat and I thought I’d share it with you.
This song has evolved quite a bit. Here is the original:
This is the Gary Jules version:
The two versions are completely different, even though the cords and lyrics are the same. Click here for the version I’m currently listening to. It's got a more rythmic feel.
Mad World by Gary Jules was in the movie Donnie Darko*. I love both the movie and the song and they are both intrinsically linked in my mind.
Each of these versions has their own appeal. I’m predisposed to the Gary Jules version, because I heard that one first. But the different versions just go to show that even though the ingredients are exactly the same, the result can be very different.
This is also why I try not to worry about whether or not my story is original or not. It doesn’t matter. Chances are that every story that could be told has been told, in some form or another. But just because a version of my story exists out there, doesn’t mean that I’m wasting my time.
Some might worry that they never have ideas for stories. But really. It’s not the idea that makes the story. It’s not even the characters or the plot. All that is just the ingredients.
What makes the story, are the words you choose to put down on paper. It’s the way you tell the story.
So I'm going to go now and put some more words down on paper.
* If you haven’t seen the movie, you should. Really. I can’t tell you too much about what the movie is about, as it would ruin the experience for you, but trust me it’s good. It’s dark, twisted and hopeful at the same time.
Lately I’ve listened to Mad World on repeat and I thought I’d share it with you.
This song has evolved quite a bit. Here is the original:
This is the Gary Jules version:
The two versions are completely different, even though the cords and lyrics are the same. Click here for the version I’m currently listening to. It's got a more rythmic feel.
Mad World by Gary Jules was in the movie Donnie Darko*. I love both the movie and the song and they are both intrinsically linked in my mind.
Each of these versions has their own appeal. I’m predisposed to the Gary Jules version, because I heard that one first. But the different versions just go to show that even though the ingredients are exactly the same, the result can be very different.
This is also why I try not to worry about whether or not my story is original or not. It doesn’t matter. Chances are that every story that could be told has been told, in some form or another. But just because a version of my story exists out there, doesn’t mean that I’m wasting my time.
Some might worry that they never have ideas for stories. But really. It’s not the idea that makes the story. It’s not even the characters or the plot. All that is just the ingredients.
What makes the story, are the words you choose to put down on paper. It’s the way you tell the story.
So I'm going to go now and put some more words down on paper.
* If you haven’t seen the movie, you should. Really. I can’t tell you too much about what the movie is about, as it would ruin the experience for you, but trust me it’s good. It’s dark, twisted and hopeful at the same time.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
6 years
I was having an evening out with a friend from high school I haven’t seen in a long time. We were talking about how it’s been almost 6 years since we graduated. Time does fly sometimes, doesn’t it?
And then we looked ahead. In 6 years time, we’ll both be 30. And where will we be then? What do we wish to have accomplished by then?
My friend wants to travel through Australia and get on with her studies. She’s already a trained nurse, but she wants more. She needs to utilize more of her abilities. Saving lives isn’t enough for her. I personally think she might end up playing a part in revolutionizing the health-care system in Denmark.
And me? I want to explore the great US of A. I’m thinking a road trip – at least 3 months – spent driving down every road I find interesting, and probably a few that will bore me to tears. I plan on getting lost and finding something in return (no I don’t know what, but I’m sure it will be profound [yes I'm naive that way]).
Picture of Aaron Paul.
Because someday I really do want to be in a car with him and a big bag of money.
The road trip is just a matter of having enough cash saved up. It’s the easy part.
What I need to accomplish in these 6 years that might actually take some effort from me, is to keep writing and working on getting my stories published. I want to have sent manuscripts of into the world. I want to share my stories.
Road tripping and writing. Sounds like a solid plan, right?
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