It’s the fourth Starbucks to open in Copenhagen. I’ve of course been to all four. But for some reason this one feels more American than the others.
I bounce between being sad, being happy, being stressed, being indifferent. Is that how life is now?
To be honest, that’s how life has been for a while.
I don’t want to talk about my head anymore. It doesn’t change, anyway.
Instead, let me tell you about my current TV-obsession.
The show I look the most forward to each week is Arrow.
For those of you who don’t know it, is a superhero TV-show placed in the DC universe (so no links to all the Marvel stuff).
The main character (and titular hero) is Oliver Queen, millionaire young man turned vigilante after being shipwrecked (among other things). He was assumed dead for 5 years, before he returned with a mission ‘to save his city’.
The story of each episode consist of a storyline taking place in present day, and then a storyline taking place 5 years prior, explaining the experiences of the shipwrecked Oliver Queen and his transformation into a vigilante.
When I first started watching the show I didn’t particular like it. I thought the actor playing Oliver Queen was wooden, and fake, and I couldn’t understand his need to constantly lie to the people he loved – his family and friends. Why not just say ‘Yes! I’m a Vigilante! Support me!’ Even when directly confronted he refused.
His sister, Thea Queen, desperately tries to break through to him, but he insists on keeping his secret.
Back when I first saw season one I was annoyed at this act of martyrdom.
But I get it. He came back from a Hell he didn’t think he would survive. And the Oliver Queen that first disappeared? He never made it off the island. Oliver Queen came back broken. And to protect his family he shut them out, afraid that his darkness would consume them.
I’m trying to avoid spoilers, for any of you still considering watching the show. I highly recommend it. But suffice to say that Oliver Queen as a character does eventually grow. He does connect with people and let them see who he has become. And I guess in the process learns that he’s still Oliver Queen.
We’re in season 4 now and a lot of his darkness has been transformed into – I wouldn’t say hope, but maybe self-acceptance? That and healthy relations with people who know him.
For me, the central relationship on this show is between Oliver and Thea Queen. Brother and sister. Bound together by blood. Both having to let go of their notions of who the other should be, and instead accept the person in front of them now.
An alarmingly high number of people who know him end up dead, though. A character in the latest episode said the following: “How many people can Oliver Queen lose before there is no Oliver Queen?”
That line still sits in my head, bouncing back and forth.
And that’s another reason why I love this show. It’s not afraid to get dark and gritty. It’s not afraid to show the suffering that death brings. How it ripples through every relation the dead person had, and creates different reactions.
I re-watched parts of season 1 the other weekend and it was so weird to see all these people being alive and well (or maybe not well – but at least alive). And seeing Oliver being as damaged as he was. He was completely devoid of mercy back then.
It was this contrast between season 1 and season 4 that really showed me the journey of that character.
And that’s one of the most important things of any show for me. I need character growth. I need to be able to see how the character adapts to his or her situation. What works for them. What doesn’t. And how their choices and actions change the person they are.
Oliver Queen had to learn to let go of his rulebook and his black/white view of the world. He had to let other people in and let them help him. He had to learn to trust other people. And to hope. Hope for a better world.
So yeah. A PTSD suffering vigilante is my source of inspiration in terms of dealing with my life.
Let’s not dwell too long on that.
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